Bitter or Better: The Choice is Yours

Photo by Hillie Chan on Unsplash

There's a quote that I saw recently that said: “You either get bitter or you get better. It's that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you," By Josh Shipp.

This is a powerful quote, that especially speaks to me this season. You may have seen my recent Facebook and Instagram post in which I wrote, Even in loss, hardship, grieving, pain, sorrow, and suffering, there is beauty. Don't miss it. I posted this the day after I learned that my brother went to be with the Lord. My purpose for writing this was that I was seeing (by God's grace) glimpses of beauty and hope. Even in the loss of my brother, good things were still happening! It was hard for me to stay stuck in the stinging hurt and grief, when there were so many good things all around me. Even in my darkness, there were rays of light shining in all over the place. I could have easily missed it, but I am so glad that I didn't.

I think of the special times I got to spend with my brother, and all the things I learned about him, things I may have not learned if he had not been terminally ill. I think of how God continues to work, and show His goodness by surrounding me with such a loving and supportive network of people. I think of how God is growing me and healing me in areas, and giving me chances to share my faith! (There are many other good things happening, but I will have to share at a later date.)

Then, I started to intentionally look for ways God was good and present, and this is what has carried me and kept me going each day. I may sound cold or insensitive, but that's not the case at all. I've just decided to look at life from another perspective. God showed me that I had that option, that I could choose not to get stuck in a rut of bitterness and hopelessness. Within the last few weeks, I have had a good amount of good days and bad. I have had my fair share, but I don't want to get bogged down by it. And I know I will have more bad days to come, but I want to take it a moment at a time. I'm also learning to welcome and feel my emotions, instead of dismissing and repressing them. I want to make peace with my pain, because if I don't acknowledge it, or face it, it will pop up in other areas of my life. People say I am extremely positive, and I can't explain my positivity other than that God has surrounded me with supportive and loving people, and given me His peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). I don't wish to compare my hurt and pain with yours, but to let you know that God loves you, and you have a choice.

It's easy to get wrapped up in the pain or hurt, but it takes an extra step to look past it, in it, or through it, to see what God is doing. We have to remember that not ALL things are bad, and God remains good. He will ALWAYS be good. Yes, I am still in mourning and grieving, and I will be for a while, but I refuse to let it overtake me. I refuse to let the pain consume me, to destroy my hope and faith. I won't allow anything to take that away from me!

Think about this. When a devastation occurs, what do people do? Some band together and help. Others don't do anything, and then there are those who sit around and complain. Which person will you choose to be? There are always stories of love, compassion, and hope in times of suffering! What kind of information are you feeding yourself? Do you see the glass as half empty of half full? While you sit at home, reading or watching the news, you can choose to focus on the people not doing anything, the people who are complaining, or the people who are doing something. In fact, you can BE one of the people who ARE doing something. Back in 2005, when Hurricane Katrina hit, there were so many people who affected. Yet, there were also many people who reached out, gave, helped, and prayed. (Go look for stories of hope yourself, I know you will find some!)

Just recently, I heard of so many people making an effort to help some of those 800,000 federal workers who were not getting paid during the Government shutdown. (I am not here to talk about politics, but the love and compassion of all the people I saw.) I heard about a restaurant that was serving free meals to families who were impacted. Instead of complaining, we ought to ask ourselves what we can do. Will you complain, or will you be apart of the solution? Yes, we can pray, but we can also give and serve. Isn't that what Christ calls us to do? Even if you're hurting, you are still capable to love, help, and serve others. You don't have to hurt others because you are hurting. You have a choice.

Some people may think I'm oblivious, ignorant, or naive. Others may say I'm blinded or refuse to see the truth. You may event think I'm delirious! Oh well, people are going to think or say what they want. But I can tell you that though I'm hurting, I am at peace. I am processing and working through my thoughts and feelings, but I will choose to have hope. What is so wrong about that? Isaiah 40:31 says: but those who hope’in the’Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint, and that's what I am choosing to do. You can be bitter or better, the choice is yours.

I am reminded that our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). That's what having faith and hope is all about. Hoping in things that aren't currently visible. This reminds me of a passage in Matthew 25:34-40; a story that we can all learn from.

34 Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

37’Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?38’When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?’39’When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?”

40 The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”

Jesus says that when we love and help others, we are actually loving and helping him (even if we don't know it). Jesus knew he was going to the cross, but in the meantime, he chose to feed the hungry, give sight to the blind, heal the sick, and raise people from the dead. He chose to have compassion and to love people. Yeah, he scolded the Pharisees and Teachers of the Law, but that was because they were critical, judgmental, and mean. He knew their hearts. The Lord could have been bitter about having to go to the cross and die for all the sins of the world, but instead, he loved on people and willingly went to the cross, for you and for me. You can be bitter or better, the choice is yours!

Colossians 3:12 reminds us: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. We as believers, ought to be like Christ. If not, how do we think we are following Christ?

You see, it may be the end of my brother's life here on earth, but it is not the end. It is not the end of the world, and if it was, then that would be wonderful because it would mean that God was calling all of us believers home. This is my hope and prayer for you: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13). Don't let the hurt and pain get the best of you, choose to be better. Choose to see the beauty in the pain. I am not saying to let go of your pain, but try looking at it from a different lens. Only when you acknowledge the hurt, can the healing begin. Let God help with that. God bless you all.

Let us Pray.

Dear God,

So many people are hurting. Many people are blinded by their pain. Many hurting people, turn and hurt others. Open their eyes as You have opened mine. Have grace and mercy on them, so they can show grace and mercy to others. Overwhelm them with Your kindness, compassion, love and truth. Bless them with the peace that surpasses understanding. Teach them how to be positive, to renew their minds, and give them a new heart if need be. You are so good, even in the hard times. You are with us in the hard times, and desire to help us. Help people to rise up and walk out their calling, mission, and purpose. Remove the enemy's hold on them. Set them free. Thank You for these readers, and for Your help in my time of mourning. I pray and ask that You also be with them, and that they will sense Your Presence. Thank You that I can still see the beauty and hope in all of this. Thank You for giving me eyes to see, and a heart to understand. Use these events to bring Yourself glory, may all the praise be to You. In Jesus' name, amen.

Prayerfully,

Pam