Busy being Busy

If I am not careful, I quickly get caught up in the routine of doing daily, meaningless tasks. If this is your first time reading, allow me to introduce myself. I am a Type A Personality, and a Task Master. I like getting things done; it makes me feel productive. Once I check something off my to-do list, it isn't long until I add two or three things to it. I am not good at being still, and doing nothing. I operate by doing and don't know what to do with myself when I'm not doing anything. I almost feel bad if I'm not doing something, like guilt/shame. I can't truly relax unless I'm napping, and rarely am I not anxious about something. Reading the Bible helps me to relax, but often times I wish I had an off switch so that I could shut off my brain. On the bright side, God is helping me in this area.

So it's easy for me to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks. The first thing I do when I wake up is check my phone; I look at emails, texts, social media, and my bank account. Then I look at my To-do List and figure out if there is something that I forgot to do yesterday, or something that I need to follow up on today. If it's the weekend, I would have made sure to get everything done by then so I can not do the normal tasks. This is not a good habit, and I am realizing that it is also not the healthiest way to live. It actually drives my anxiety all the way up, and has started to impact my health. I am very impatient, and not really enjoying life.

So since my big move to the West Coast (from the Midwest), I have had nothing to do, and I have not been good about doing nothing. I have been so restless and feeling borderline depressed. I once thought that I'd like being a stay-at-home mom, but now I am thinking otherwise. I wouldn't be good at it, and it wouldn't be long until I made up a to-do list for myself. Of course there were things I had to do, like get my girls registered for school, address changes, and unpacking. But there were days where I was really struggling. I was irritable and crabby because I had nothing to do, and I wasn't getting anything done. Why does our identity, worth, or value depend on what we do? Maybe it's because that is what the world tells us. So many of us have mistaken identities. You may think who you are is based on what you've done, or you are what you haven't done. But none of this is Biblical. God never tells us to get high paying jobs, or buy a mansion to be worthy to Him. God is actually in the business of restoration, making things new, and giving us a new identity--in Christ. He doesn't want us to live a repetitive, unfulfilling life. There is so much more to life than that.

Let me share a   dream I had. About five years ago, my husband and I moved about 5 hours away, from all of our friends and family, to have a fresh start. It was quite a lonely time in our life, and the first time we'd ever been away from all of our loved ones. I was very sad, and many times wanted to pack up and move back. A few months in, I had this dream. In my dream, I saw this cute two-story, bluish-grey home surrounded by a white picket fence. In my dream, I could not see the Devil, but I knew that he was with me. He was asking me questions, and I was responding (I was not afraid). It actually reminded me of the Bible story when Jesus went into the wilderness for 40 days to be tempted, and Satan came and spoke to him. In the dream, I saw a man coming in and out of the home. He looked to be in his 50's. He looked comfortable and used to his routine. I watched him coming in and out, and mowing his lawn with a push mower. I could feel the comfort and ease of him doing his daily tasks. The feeling of doing things you're used to doing. Then the Devil asked me if I really wanted to follow Jesus. I said YES without hesitation. He said that in following Jesus, there is much uncertainty and that there would be many times that I would be uncomfortable, that I'd have to go wherever God sent me. He said that if I didn't follow Jesus, I would be content like the man--used to my surroundings. There would be no uncertainty, but I would be comfortable. He told me to choose: that (comfortable) life or Jesus. I said, I CHOOSE JESUS, I CHOOSE JESUS. As soon as the Devil knew I would not change my mind, he was no longer with me. Then I looked closer at the man. He face looked blank and hopeless. He looked like he had nothing to live for, and all of his tasks were just like clockwork. Then I saw what looked like strings attached to him, and I realized that he was just like a puppet, living the same hopeless life, day in and day out, with nothing to look forward to. He wasn't even living a fulfilling life. Instead, he was stuck in a dead-end cycle. He was trapped (in a lie), and what Satan had showed me was just a mirage. I woke up withe words I CHOOSE JESUS repeating in my heart and mind.

It took me a few days absorb all that I had seen, and to understand what God wanted to share with me. The image of the puppet-like man kept playing and replaying in my mind. Not just the scene, but also the lifelessness. The man with no hope and no emotion. What truth and insight I gained! Not that I was contemplating my decision to follow Jesus, but so happy with the revelation and deeper understanding. I don't think I am doing as good of a job as I'd like explaining the dream, but my point is this. We don't want to get stuck in a cycle, doing the same tasks, and truly getting no where. Once we complete or achieve something, we are already on to the next. King Solomon says this is all meaningless, and chasing after the wind (Ecclesiastes). We ought to be doing tasks that make a difference both here on earth and in Heaven. Store your treasures in Heaven! The Kingdom of God is at had. It's uncomfortable being in a new environment, meeting new people, or making changes, yet, so easy to get in a routine. It feels safe. Even when we're miserable, we'd rather be miserable than go through the process of change. That is why so many of us are stuck in the same rut, wondering why nothing has changing or getting better.

As my husband and I was making the changes to to move here, we took a long second to think about it. My husband said, are you sure you want to move? We have it good here. We both had good jobs, all of our bills were paid for (with some left over), our kids were happy and content, we like our city and neighborhood, we were close to family.  He was right, we had been there for 5 years, and grown accustomed to our environment. It was easy, familiar, and comfortable. But as soon as he said that, I immediately said, no, we're moving. God did not create us to be content! Then I thought to myself, how selfish is that of us? Everything we have comes from God, does He want us to just be comfortable? No, no, no! I was repulsed by that thought.

I may not know what God has in store for us in the next coming months, but I am thankful for the opportunity do what it is that He has asked. Our move was led by God, just as our major move before that had been. Now listen, I am not telling you this so you can praise me. Not at all. I write because I want all of you to fulfill the purpose that God has called you to do. I am not telling you to move across country, doing so may mean doing it right where you are. I just don't want us to live a life without purpose because we are content, comfortable, or used to our environment and surroundings. It's so easy to get caught up in doing our daily tasks, but what if we are missing our God-given assignment? That is not how I want to live, even it means not knowing what lies ahead. Knowing your purpose and serving God has, by far, been the most rewarding and fulfilling thing I have ever done! Maybe some of you are asking if there's more to life than this. Maybe some of you are wanting change or desire to know your purpose. Ask God. He is our Creator, the Giver of life! Whether you want to believe it or not, God has given us all a unique and specialized purpose, intentionally and individually created for us. If you are unsatisfied, seek God. Let God reveal the plans and purposes He has for you.

Let us pray.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for this message, the dream, it's meaning, and for all the readers. Lord, thank you for creating us, and giving us a purpose. I lift all the readers up to You right now in the name of Jesus. I ask that each day, they will be closer to fulfilling the plan You have for them. Please lead and guide them. May they realize that the answer lies with You, because You are our Creator. You know each of us inside and out; no one knows us better than You. Reveal to them the lies that the enemy has told them. We apologize for walking around the same mountain, and doing the same things that lead us empty. All of these things we are chasing is like chasing the wind. We are never satisfied, left as empty as when we started. Only in You LORD there is true life, joy, peace, comfort, reward, and satisfaction. Show us what to do LORD.We don't want to live a lie, or stay on a course leading us nowhere. Fill the empty places in our lives. Let Your Will be done. In Jesus' name, amen. 

Prayerfully,

Pam