Change us, Lord

Seeking God as a means to fix our marriage and other relationships sounds like a good thing, right? We should be all asking for God’s help in every aspects of our lives. Lifting up our problems and situations in prayer is a always a good thing. However, God may not answer our prayers accordingly if we do not have the right motive. When we pray, we must check our motives and our hearts. Having the wrong motives can hinder our prayers and prevent them from being answered. James 4:3 says And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong--you want only what will give you pleasure. I learned this when I began to pray for my husband, and then the Lord reminded me of this again a few months ago. Let me explain.

If you are like me, you will (sometimes) demand for God to fix your husband (or whoever has hurt you). You think, they're the ones with the immoral issues, they're the ones sinning. He's the one who doesn't pray or go to church, he is the one who is far from you, and so forth...But let me tell you what happened to me when I got serious and really started praying for my husband. It started when I read Stormie Omartians' book called The Power of a Praying Wife, and in the first chapter, she states that our prayer to God should actually be, change me. WHAT!? Boy was this hard to take in! I was shocked! I thought that book was going to give me all the answers on how to fix my husband! I thought God would be on my side and make my husband realize all of his faults! I thought the prayers in the book were going to help whip my husband into shape! I almost stopped reading.

...But I was too invested. I had done everything I could (my way) and nothing changed; things actually got worse. So I thought I'd give it a shot and try it God's way. I was exhausted and was not emotionally or mentally capable of doing my way anymore. (We can't keep doing the same things and expecting a different outcome). So I gave in, kept reading and started praying. Gradually, God began to renew my mind and transform me. It was painful, but I also began to feel more hope and peace. I was a little lighter and I gained a little more joy.

There were times when I'd resort back to pointing my finger at my husband's faults and all the bad things he was doing, but God gently showed me my wrong doings and reminded me that we all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). I had to take the plank out of my eye before I could point out the speck in my husband's eye (Matthew 7:5). And this change did not happen overnight. It was a long, grueling process. But don't let this discourage you! God will not fail! But truthfully friends, if you desire God to help your marriage or any other relationship, you must be willing to put in the fight (prayer), time, effort, dedication, and sometimes even sacrifice. It won't be easy, but be reminded that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13), for we are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us (Romans 8:37)!

God desires to change us and heal our marriage. He wants to work in us and restore our relationships. He longs to hear us say, "Lord, change me!" so that we can have a fulfilling life. You see, God can change our husband first, but that doesn't automatically take all the problems away, because we are still the same. We, ourselves, have a ton of baggage, filth (sin), and shortcomings still within our lives as well. If you let God show you what they are,  He will, just ask. We must be ready and willing!

So, after much pain, healing, and perseverance on my end, God began changing me into a new person. He changed me in ways that even made my husband noticed, and after 7 years of changing, I went back to God and said, "Okay Lord, You've changed me. Now can You change my husband to be...x, y, and z?" God showed me again that I didn't have the right motive. My prayer had to be altered. I had to love and accept my husband for who he was and ask that God make him into the man of God that GOD wanted him to be, not what I wanted him to be. My prayer was selfish and God reminder me how He loved and accepted me and that His kindness leads to repentance. He let me know that if my husband became m all that God wanted him to be, that would also fulfill what I wanted, plus so much more! When I got this great revelation, I agreed.

Ladies, our husbands (or other loved ones) need our prayers. We need to trust God and have faith that He can change them, but we must check our heart and motive. Ask God to show you if you are praying with wrong motives. I thought I was perfect, but little did I know, there was a lot of work to be done in me. I had unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, hurt, pain, and my thinking was not in line with God's Word. Are you bold enough to ask God to change you? God wants us to enjoy our marriage, our husband, our relationships, and our lives. However, we must humble ourselves and ask God to change us. Ask for His help and intervention. If you have tried and tried to do it your way with no improvement, stop and do it God's way! He will bring healing, restoration, hope, love, and life back into your relationships! Believe and have faith!

Let us Pray.

Father God,

The King of King and Lord of Lords,

You are so powerful and wonderful! God, You are mighty to save. There is nothing that You cannot do! Lord, I thank You for the readers and for this message. Lord, You created us to be in relationships, You created marriage. I pray right now lord, that You would intervene in these relationships. Help us to surrender to You. Bring healing, restoration, peace, life and love back into these lifeless relationships. If You did it for me Lord, I know You will also do it for them. Your hand is not shortened that it cannot save (Isaiah 59:1) and nothing is too hard for you. Lord, we come humbly to You and ask that You change us. We ask that You mold us into the person that You want us to be. Though it may be hard, be with us and help us during this process of refining, renewing, and restoration. Hold our hands, guide us, and carry us through this healing process. We thank You LORD for You are good, faithful, kind, forgiving, merciful, and full or grace. Also, make our spouses and loved ones into the men and women of God that You have called them to be. Thank You Father. All Praise, Power, Glory, Honor, and Dominion is Yours. Hallelujah. We pray all these things in Jesus' Mighty name, amen.

Prayerfully,

Pam