Stop and smell the flowers
I have developed horrible allergies within the last few years. I've never noticed them before until about three years or so ago; and lately, they have been more and more troublesome. Sometimes I break out in itchy hives on my arms and face, or I'll have awful post-nasal drip causing a dreadful sore throat and/or sinus infection that can last a few days or weeks. At first I didn't understand the recurring outbreaks, but then I realized that my stress and anxiety levels have gone way up; thus, giving birth to these stress-induced allergies. I hated what the stress and allergies were doing to me, so I went on a quest to find the solution. Of course this led me to the Bible, which provides us with many comforting verses. Here are just a few:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34).
Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).
Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid (John 14:27).
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
Even though I found comfort in these verses, these promises were not manifesting in my life. I still wasn't able to be still, not worry, receive rest, have peace, or a sound mind. I have a daily battle with stress and anxiety. I can't even watch horror or thriller movies because of the anxiety. And in addition to stress, I also wrestle with impatience and anger (which does not make a very nice trio). I read these Bible verses over and over, yet still floundered with retaining any peace. I hated to admit it, but the enemy was doing a pretty good job stealing my joy. As I looked for ways to make these verses alive in my life, I thought of things that usually made me stressed, impatient, or angry. Here is what I came up with, you can see if there is anything here that rings true for you.
I have the type A personality; I am task master and recovering perfectionist. These things immediately came to mind when I looked at managing my stress, and it brought me back to 4th grade. I adored my 4th grade teacher; he was encouraging, compassionate, and kind—very Christ-like. He never said it, but now looking back, I know that he was a Christian. Anyway, I generally did well in school, and in 4th grade, things started to get a little more challenging (which I loved). I had a classmate who was very bright, to whom I always came in second. She was good everything: math, reading, writing, you name it. She'd use big "college words" (as my teacher described it) in her essays, and was always impressing our 4th grade teacher. I believe it was then that I became a perfectionist. I desired to be smart, and I became really hard on myself. My goal was to get an A in everything or class I was in. This ultimately led to obsessive/compulsive behavior, which then fed into a desire to control things around me.
My life growing up was very dysfunctional and out of control, so my performance was essentially the only thing I could control, and I was not about to let it get out of control. Now as an adult, I live as a task master, always looking to check things off my to-do lists. I have such a strong desire to get things done, which usually does not allow me to enjoy the process and contributes to my impatience. I am always looking to the end-goal. I don't feel peace until the task is done, but even that is short-lived because then I am moving on the next task. This has also caused me to put a lot of pressure on my husband and children. I think, if I can do it, why can't they?
Thankfully, God is working in me, and I've had to learn to be ok if things don't exactly go my way. I've had to be ok with not being in control. I've had to learn to be ok if my kids don't do something the way I would, or if my husband doesn't cook or clean to my liking. I have to be ok with making mistakes and allowing it to humble me. I've had to make allowance in letting my husband and children make mistakes, and be patient. I no longer have the desire to do thinks perfectly and even embrace my mistakes and flaws. God showed me how these things were stealing my joy, and how I was a slave to performance and perfectionism. It was like He was gently unclasping my hands off the reigns, and I once I let go, I was free. He also commands that I show mercy because He is merciful. He gives me grace and tells me to also freely give grace. I still need a lot of work in these areas, but I trust God to help me because He is ever faithful. Here are some helpful tips and things that help me de-stress and to stop and smell the roses.
Take a bath: I was never one to take baths. I thought of it as being childish and a waste of time because I could be doing so many other things in that time! There's so much to do, so little time, right? If you're like me, it's important that we get out of this mindset from time to time. Taking a bath forces me to do nothing and to be still, which helps me to relax and unwind.
Quiet time: This could be going on a walk, taking a nap, or just meditating on God's Word and goodness. I usually do this when the kids are asleep or reading. I worship God during this time, and think of all the things He has done for me and thank Him. This too helps me to calm my mind and rest.
Boycott the Internet: You've read this from me before, but sometimes I just have to take a break from social media, news, and/or the internet entirely. It's easy for me to kill so much time being on the internet, and even Facebook, text, and email notification can make me anxious. The news has been very hard to watch lately, so I'm ok with being uniformed if it's going to help my mental and emotional state. Less internet means less anxiety, and more peace.
Read a book and/or the Bible: I love reading books, but even with that, I have to tell myself it isn't about finishing the book; I need to enjoy it. And I know I'm preaching to the choir, but the Bible is jam packed with so many encouraging stories and promises! If you don't read the Bible, you are truly missing out! The Bible will create in you a sound mind.
Adjust your Schedule: I often get cranky if my schedule is too full, or when I feel that I'm doing too much, so I've had to remove things and commitments from my schedule, as well as schedule in things that I enjoy or things that help me relax. This has taught me not not worry about tomorrow, and I am beginning to enjoy life again. It's ok to say no.
Prioritize and Time management: These are both extremely important. Make a list of the things in your life that are priority. For me, God is most important, and to spend more time with God, I've had to get up earlier, or stay up later. God time is a must, and my days start off so much better with one-on-one time with Him. What comes first in your life? (You can tell what is important in your life by the amount of time you invest into it). When you put God first, everything else will fall into place. Furthermore, be a good steward of your time; don't be wasteful with it. When you spend time resting, worshipping, and doing things which are fulfilling, you will be less stressed.
Pray: Lastly, I pray, pray, and then pray some more. I try to live by the Bible verse that says do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6). Anytime life gets overwhelming, too much to handle or out of control, it brings me to my knees and I cry out to God. Only God can truly release us from the weight and burdens of the world. Go to Him. In addition to prayer, I've recently made a worry (mason) jar. I will write down my worries, date it, then throw it in the jar. I tell myself that I can't worry about it anymore, and if I do, it'll only have to be in prayer. There is something about physically writing it down that helps me to let it go. (At the end of the year, I will read the slips of paper and see all that God has done.)
I hope the Bible verses above comfort and strengthen you. Ask God to show you what makes you stress, anxious, or worried, and to give you a solution. He will help you. And if you're like me, ask God to help you to stop and smell the flowers.
Let us Pray.
Father God Almighty,
So many of us struggle with stress, anxiety, depression, and worry. Help us to identify those things which steal our joy and cause us so much stress. Send Your Holy Spirit to bring comfort, peace, and consolation for You Word says: When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul (Psalm 94:19). Help us to live out Your Word and experience Your promises. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10) but we are not ignorant of his schemes (2 Corinthians 2:11). We reject the anxiety, stress, and depression in Jesus' name. Break the yokes, bonds, chains, and shackles that ensnare us. I pray for deliverance for the readers for Jesus came to set the captives free and to release the oppressed (Luke 4:18). Thank you for hearing our prayers and for everything You do. Help us not to get weary of praying, but give us strength, perseverance, endurance, and the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding on how to effectively handle our stress. Help us to find our joy and peace in You, and lastly, to stop and smell the flowers. In Jesus' name, amen.
Prayerfully,
Pam
