God Attachment
I recently did a Literature Review for class and wanted to share with you what I learned. Each of us have an attachment style, something we developed as a child, which serves to help us psychologically and to keep us from harm. Whenever we interacted with our parents or caregivers (attachment figure), it established an emotional bond, or attachment. If we didn't get what we needed from them socially, it may have caused an insecure attachment. The four types of attachment styles are as follows:
Secure-had needs met by attachment figure, confidant caregiver or parent will be available, and is comfortable being with people and being alone
Avoidant-distrusting of others, believes attachment figure will not meet their needs, prefers to be alone
Anxious-exhibit anxiety, believe they will be neglected by attachment figure, and has fear of abandonment
Fearful-combination of Avoidant and Anxious, does not know how to receive comfort from attachment figure, fears people will not be there for them
Additionally, John Bowlby and Mary Ainsoworth, the founders of the Attachment Theory, came up with four factors within a relationship that need to be met before the bond can be considered an attachment. The four distinctive principles are based on the child’s response to the attachment figure. The attachment figure would need to be seen as a safe haven, and considered a secure base, in which the child is free to explore and return for love and protection. The child would pursue proximity and closeness with the attachment figure, and experience separation distress or anxiety when the parent or caregiver left.
These attachment styles can carry on into adulthood and affect how a person interacts in other relationships as well. Insecure attachment styles display different behaviors: Anxious types can be clingy, needy, and smothering whereas Avoidant types isolate, rely on themselves, and dislike relationship closeness; fearful types have heightened feelings of anxiety and do not like being in relationships.
I learned, after more than 500 pages of reading, that it is possible to have an attachment with God because the four criteria is met within a personal relationship with God. There are also Scriptures that support people having God Attachments. I personally, see God as my safe haven and refuge (Psalm 46:1). He is also my secure base in which I feel secure doing my daily activities and tasks (Psalm 121:1-8). I also desire to be near God, seek Him, and pursue His presence (James 4:8). When I feel distant from God, I do feel sadness, anxiety, and discomfort (Psalm 10:1). Many other believers in the studies report similar feelings.
SAFE HAVEN-Psalm 46:1-God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
SECURE BASE-Psalm 112:1-8-I lift up my eyes to the mountains‚ where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip‚ he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord watches over you‚ the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all harm‚ he will watch over your life, 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
MAINTAIN PROXIMITY-James 4:8-Come near to God and he will come near to you.
SEPARATION ANXIETY-Psalm 10:1-Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
Now if you are already a believer, you may showcase some of these behaviors below, based on your attachment style. This is information I gathered from a book called God Attachment: Why You Believe, Act, and Feel the Way You Do About God, By Tim Clinton and Joshua Straub.
Believers who were brought up in a loving and safe home have developed a secure attachment and do not find it difficult to believe in a loving and powerful God. They rarely get upset if they encounter less than fortunate events and are stable in their thinking, coping, and reactions. On the other hand, the anxious type is always wanting to please God and get sad when God doesn’t meet their needs; they cling to God and desire for God to deliver them from all their troubles. Avoidants prefer not to get close to God and don’t connect well emotionally to others, and when things don’t go well or as planned, Avoidant types question God or simply give up. Disorganized or fearful styles don’t trust people or relationships and find it hard to have a relationship with God. They rarely feel secure because of past trauma and hurts, and when God doesn’t answer or seems distant, fearful types go back into their shell and into hiding.
However, if you have an insecure attachment style, it is still possible to develop a secure attachment style. If you enter a relationship that has positive and healthy properties, it can change your attachment style. A relationship with God can also be corrective and teach you emotionally healthy ways of interacting and connecting with others.
In all my reading, the findings from the research state that it is possible to have a God Attachment because a relationship with God meets the four elements explained above. Those with a secure God attachment have a healthier view of themselves, display greater life satisfaction, use better coping mechanisms, and react more positively to a negative situation. Thus, a relationship with God can be healing and immensely beneficial. The supernatural bond gives believers the strength and ability to overcome life's problems, better manage their emotions, and prepare them to handle unfortunate events. I can also attest to these findings in my own life. Prayer, worship, fellowship, studying God's Word, and singing songs of praise have helped me in all areas of my life.
If you would like to read or learn more about God Attachment, I'd recommend academic articles by R. A. Beck, P. Granqvist, and L. A. Kirkpatrick.
Let us pray.
Father God,
I thank You for the research, studies, and evidence that shows a relationship with You is helpful. It is possible to have a relationship with You because You are real, living, powerful, and mighty. You have given us Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Thank You for You are so good and faithful! You protect us and keep us safe. You love us and welcome us with open arms. You are all-knowing, all-powerful, and always present. Lord, I thank You for this message and for all the readers. Right now, I lift them all up to You in Jesus' name. You know their attachment styles, what happened to them growing up, and how they interact in present-day relationships. You know the hurt, pain and the ways they've been neglected or abandoned, but You've never left them. Please bring them healing, and become the healthy attachment figure they need. Bring people into their lives who can encourage their healing and show them Your love. Teach them how to be secure, in You. I pray that You help them and repair their relationships. There is nothing You can't fix or do. We give You all the praise. In Jesus' name, amen.
Prayerfully,
Pam
