Good Grief! Good Grief?
It's been a while since I've written a blog post, and there are a few reasons for that. Firstly, I have been busy with school and all that comes with it. I've been learning a ton, about others, and also doing a lot of self-discovery! It's been transforming, but also very uncomfortable. I'm seeing things from other perspectives, digging deeper into the values and beliefs I hold, and questioning certain aspects of life. I've even had to dispose of some beliefs because they no longer held true for me. Things that related to God, my faith, society, culture, roles, and so much more.
I also haven't written because I didn't know what to write about. There were times when I had too much to write, and times where I didn't know where to even begin. When I write, I want to be intentional and purposeful about a blog post, not just write to get something out there. I want to invite my readers into my life: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes I feel there is nothing significant to post, and other times I feel like there is just way too much to sort through. However, today is the last day of October, and I feel like it's time. So thank you all for your continued support and patience.
You may be wondering about my title. It speaks to the season I'm in and what I'm currently going through. Have you ever heard someone, out of being overwhelmed, shock, or pure frustration say, "Good Grief!?” Well, I've been dealing with grief for quite some time now, yet, it is something that I only recently realized and tuned in to. Grief caused by, not just in the passing of my brothers, but other events over the course of my lifetime. This past Tuesday, Good Grief! would have been a great way to explain how I was feeling. I was feeling overwhelmed with school and certain family situations, but I also felt an overwhelming amount of sorrow. There was just so much of it. I felt such deep sadness; my heart was heavy and almost aching at the same time! However, I couldn't figure out where it was coming from! I didn't have any particular issues I could identify, that was making me feel this way. So I pondered and prayed.
I still don't have an answer for the source of the grief, but I can identify the feeling, and I feel like I can more so identify with those who may be feeling this same way. Grief can come from any type of loss, not just the death of a loved one. It can come with the loss of a job, friendship, dream, or lifestyle. It doesn't have to be the loss of something material. It can be the loss of comfort, stability, identity, innocence, or more. We all have experienced grief, more or less. But many of us don't take the time to acknowledge the grief, myself included. Yet, who can blame us with all the roles and responsibilities we have in life, the race we are running to get there!? We have so many expectations to meet, a list of things to consistently do, while on this wild roller coaster of survival‚ the ride of our lives!
Sometimes though, we just need to take a moment to grieve. We just have to! To name the loss, to feel the emotions associated, and to sit in it. We have to mourn it, process it! It is not in our best interest to skip these steps. I know this because for me, the grief won't go away! It keeps coming back, letting me know its there and that I haven't dealt with it. It wants acknowledgement and will even manifest itself in other ways.
I am going to school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist, so you may say I am biased, but I feel like (often times) we need therapy. I am a huge advocate for therapy and/or counseling, not just because it’s the vocation I am pursuing, but because I've greatly experienced its benefits. Here are some Scriptures that talk about counselors.
Proverbs 15:22 says: Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.
Proverbs 11:14 says: Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory.
Proverbs 12:15 says: The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.
Proverbs 13:10 says: Through insolence comes nothing but strife, But wisdom is with those who receive counsel.
This is not to say that we should no longer pray or trust in God. God is an important factor in our healing! We should do counseling and continue in our relationship with Him. Believe me, I know that God can do all things, and that the Holy Spirit is the best counselor! (God also knows all things, and He is the God of Healing and Salvation!) But I truly value and believe in relationships, sharing, and leaning on others, because we all need people alongside us. Those who can give us insight, or see things from a different perspective. Those who will hold what we say in confidence, and truly hear and see us. We must allow people on this journey with us.
I have been in counseling for over a year now, and it is one of the best things I've ever done: a transforming investment in myself. Counseling may not be for everyone, but it is truly something to be considered. I say all of this because I've felt and seen firsthand, the healing that comes with talking, sharing, and listening. Talk therapy is so helpful and powerful. I tell my children that by sharing your griefs, you give people a piece of it, and the problems don't feel as heavy anymore. It becomes bearable; no longer heavy weight, but something that can be helped. Grief isn't a bad thing! It's a natural response to hurt, pain, sorrow, and loss, but to begin healing, we must address it, name it, feel it, and share it (with God and/or others).
So, please remember: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (Matthew 5:4). The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18), and He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
Let us pray.
Heavenly Father,
Unfortunately, grief is a normal part of life. We become attached to things, people, places, and then feel the pain and sorrow when we lose them. You know best how we feel because You lost Your one and only son, Jesus, whom You gave up for us. You see all those hurting, in darkness, alone and in despair. You are surely not blind or deaf, nor is Your arm shortened that it cannot save (Isaiah 59:1). Please touch the readers, help them to begin healing. Surround them with people who can walk alongside them, love, support and encourage them. Send Your ministering angels now. Psalm 46:1 says You are a very present help in our time of need. Make Yourself, Your love, healing power, and presence known to them. Help them to identify the source of their sorrow and grief, and then give them the courage and strength to work through it. Wipe their tears, and give them peace. I speak Isaiah 61 over them: bind their broken hearts, set the prisoners free, comfort those who mourn, give them beauty for ashes, joy, and the ability to praise. In Jesus' great and holy name, amen.
Prayerfully,
Pam
