When a loved one passes

I have been grappling with this topic for some time (ever since the Lord laid it on my heart), because I didn't know how I would relay it in a message. I wanted to do it in a way that would effectively get the point across, without sounding cold or insensitive because this is such a sensitive topic. I believe that this post will give understanding to many of you, and maybe even set others free. There may also be many who disagree with me, but I must obey the Lord in delivering this message. First let me say that it is with great sympathy that I share this message, and I ask that you remain open minded (please also inquire of the Lord to see if He may be using this message to speak to you).

Experiencing a loss because of death is not easy. Many of us have lost a loved one, someone whom we cherished and highly regarded. Maybe it was a friend, a parent, a sibling, a spouse, or a child. I have, and I can attest that this is probably one of the most painful feelings and experiences a person can ever have. Your heart literally aches and throbs for days without end, or so it seems. The heartache and pain is so deep that it can take all your breath away just thinking about it, and it feels as if nothing can take the agony away. Everyone grieves differently, nonetheless, I think it's safe to say that most people's world gets severely shaken, and sometimes even turned upside down because of losing a loved one. I myself know the pain, suffering and severe discomfort that comes with loss. I have experienced 2 miscarriages, and have had several loved ones die (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmother). However, the death of my brother in July 2015 shook me the hardest. No matter what I did, I could not get past the deep dark pit that I was in; the depression almost consumed me, and I was drowning in darkness. You can read more about this in the post From Depression to Joy post.

Yet, what I want to convey most in this post is that we must not excessively love, revere, and admire that person above God, because doing so is idolizing and idolatry is a sin. On Merriam-Webster.com it describes idolize as to worship as a god; to love or admire to excess. We must question, search, and examine ourselves after a loved one passes to make sure we don't fall into this sin. Let me firmly put that I am not telling you not to grieve, not to love that person, or not to mourn; nor am I telling you to not think of them, embrace your memories of them, or talk about them. Please read the whole post before you make an opinion, and see if God is speaking to you. It is easy to fall into despair, and idolize a person who has passed without even realizing it. So let's go to God's Word and see what it says.

God's first command in the Ten Commandments is you shall have no other gods before Me (Exodus 20:2). From the description above, we can see that idolize means to worship as a god, love or admire excessively. How would we idolize a loved one who has passed you might ask? Some examples are crying out to the person, praying or talking to them, letting them consume your time, thoughts, and feelings for months or years. Seeking them in general can be idolizing, such as seeking their presence, opinion, advice, and guidance. Some of you have had a love one die, and you are worshiping them. You dwell on them, look at their pictures daily, and allow the hurt and pain to fester, even long after you should. You inquire of them when you are hurting instead of going to God. You ask them to show you a sign that they are with you, or long to see them in dreams. Some of you may not even realize you are doing this, so allow God to speak to you if you feel convicted.

I understand that some of you are new to Christianity, and may not have known to call out to God until now. Some of you are doing committing the sin of idolatry unintentionally because it is part of your grieving or even your culture. Ask God to help you absorb and understand this concept. You may see nothing wrong with praying or talking to them, but God wants you to know the truth and to be set free.  God sent His son Jesus Christ to die for you, to wash away your sins so that you could have salvation--eternal life with God. So that no matter what you have done in your life, you could still spend eternity with God when your time came to leave the earth or when Jesus comes back. If the person you love who died was a Christian, he or she is in Heaven with God. They are no longer suffering in pain, sorrow, or misery. They are actually better off than we are here on earth, and I'm sure that they wouldn't want you or I to be miserable, hurting and mourning them day after day. Another point I want you to grasp is that the person who you love that has passed, did not give up their one and only Son for you. You ought not to worship them and love them to the magnitude in which you would God. Lift up your concerns and bring all your pain, heartache and hurt to God, the One True God.

I want us to think about Moses; he was a critical figure in the Bible. He led millions of God's people out of Egypt to the edge of the Promise Land. Then he died at the age of 120. Deuteronomy 34:8 says the Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over. It's important for us to see that there was a set time for mourning, then it ended. The Scripture goes on to say since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, 11 who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt‚Äîto Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. 12 For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel. I can see how easy it would be to love and revere Moses. I think he was an amazing man of God and I look forward to meeting him in Heaven! Moses led millions of Israelites out of slavery to safety; he literally heard and saw God and many people looked up to him, but God hid his body. We see this in verse 5 And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said. 6 He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is. Nobody knows because God did not want the people to worship Moses; they got 30 days to weep and mourn over their leader, but God forbid anyone to idolize Moses. We must remember though, that Moses was only able to do what he did because of God working in and through him. God is our Creator, and Moses (people) are God's creation. How can we worship creation over the Creator? This is wrong. God is the one who created the person in your life that has passed. You may think they are yours, but they actually belong to God because everything was made by God and for God (Colossians 1:16).

Moreover, when you continuously crying out to the person who has passed, you are inviting and opening the door for false and lying spirits to impersonate the one who has passed on. These are spirits are looking for a place to go, and they are happy to enter your home so that you can worship them. Let me be frank and say that there is only one spirit we ought to trust and that is God's Spirit, the Holy Spirit. God is the only one worthy of our continuous worship, praise, love, and reverence. We should not be trying to communicate with those who have passed on; it says so in Deteronomy 18:10-12. These are false spirits who answer you, no matter how harmless and loving they seem. Ecclesiastes 9:5 says For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten. Sounds harsh, but we must obey our Heavenly Father and His Commands. Again, I am not telling you to not love or remember the person who has passed, you must not love them more than God. Everyone grieves differently, and the pain may very much still be present, even after years of someone's passing. However, the Bible tells us there is a time for mourning and weeping (Ecclesiastes 3:4), as we saw this with the Israelites. We must make the decision move forward when the grieving period is over, even if the pain still persists. I still think of my brother and other loved ones often, but the Lord has given me comfort and peace. Let's keep the first commandment close to our hearts, we must not love anyone more than God.

Let us pray.

Father God,

I pray those who need to hear this message will heed Your Word and Commands. I pray that they will be able to receive this message and be given wisdom, knowledge, and understanding about this concept. I thank you for this message and the readers. I ask now in the name of Jesus that you set free those who are in bondage because of idolatry. Forgive them for worshiping those who have passed on, and forgetting You. I pray that you will open their eyes to your truth and love. We reject and rebuke those lying, false, and impersonating spirits in Jesus' Name. Bring healing and comfort to all those who have lost a loved one. Be their joy, hope, and peace. Death is awfully painful and even Jesus wept (John 11:35), but we must not let it consume us. Let us not allow anything that is not of you into our lives. Some of us have dreams about our loved ones. I pray Lord that You will deliver us from these things that are of You. Submit our dreams and put them under the obedience of Jesus Christ right now. Teach us how to deal with the loss of a loved one, mourning, grieving, and the pain. Remind us that You are the Creator, and that One True God. You alone are worthy of the worship, praise, glory, honor, and power. In Jesus' name, amen.

Prayerfully,

Pam